Thanks for all the great comments about my writing block. I think the most popular choice was #5, what to say to those pesky people who ask you WHEN you are going to have kids.
So, first a little background. I come from a huge extended family. And the majority of them got married young and had babies. But, because my parents got college educations and wanted me and my sister and brother to be successful and go places, I did not follow this path. I went to college and then grad school and took my time finding Mr. Right. I also got a great career along the way and became quite successful at what I do. So, I found myself at the age of 31 ready to have kids, while my enormous clan of cousins was working on their 3rd and 4th and then some. So, long story short, I have successfully evaded the "when are you having kids" question for quite sometime. However, as soon as I got married (10 years after everyone else was married) the questions came fast and furious.
As luck would have it, I don't see my extended family much anymore, so I have not had to face the dreaded question from them since we started trying. But just a few weeks ago, we had to attend my grandmother's 90th birthday in my hometown and I knew that I would be dodging around the kid issue. So, my husband and I tried to come up with some smart answers to come back with when my relatives took it upon themselves to stick their noses into our personal business. Here are a few we came up with (keep in mind, these are so totally not serious):
1. No, we don't want kids, they won't let them into our favorite bar.
2. We would love kids, but the restraining order has to be lifted first.
3. No, we're not going to have any kids, they're too sticky.
4. We forgot to give the stork our address.
I think our favorite was the sticky one.
Anyway, I was all prepared. I had my defenses up. I imagined I would be brutally honest and throw our difficulties in everyone's faces and make them feel bad or I would defend my worthiness as an independent, happy, educated, successful career woman who didn't need children to define myself, but I folded. I got exactly 5 kid questions. They were all innocent and well meaning (which made me feel even worse about it for some reason). I hemmed and hawwed around the question: "oh, no, not yet" "maybe someday" "well, you, know it doesn't always work for everyone" etc. etc. Until one of my cousins asked me and I said "no, I think we are just going to get a dog."
What are your favorite answers to the "kid" question?