A bit like my prom....

Let me just start out by saying, YES, I am excited about our impending bundle of joy!

But, I am also surprised at how much MORE excited everyone else is.

Pregnancy so far feels a bit like my prom.

I spent many years of adolescence dreaming about my prom. You read about it in books and magazines. You see the dresses in the stores. You watch it in movies. It is always made out to be such an exciting and magical night. A night to remember. I don't really know what I was expecting, but I do distinctly remember arriving at the prom and thinking "really? this is it? this is what I was waiting for?" Don't get me wrong, I had a great time. It was a very fun night. But somehow all the anticipation and speculation and imagination about what it WOULD be like, far outweighed what it was ACTUALLY like.

I feel the same way about my pregnancy so far. After 2 1/2 years of anticipation, speculation and imagination, the reality doesn't quite compare. Again, I don't know what I was expecting, but somehow it doesn't measure up to the book and magazine and movie versions. Partly I think it is because I feel great--hardly any morning sickness--so I don't really feel any different yet.

Now granted I know I'm only 12 weeks at this point, so I know this will all change rapidly, and by the time I give birth I KNOW I will feel a connection with this baby. But, I don't think I will feel as magical as I thought I would, just more real.

Just like my prom.

Life and Death

I am feeling a bit of the circle of life this week.

A very good friend lost his battle with brain cancer this week. He was only 37.
We also received some not so good news about another member of our friend family who has been missing since November. It is too long of a story to get into, but needless to say it looks like perhaps some foul play is involved in his disappearance.

But even as we loose these friends we are expecting to bring a new life into the world shortly. Sometimes it doesn't make any sense to me.

Progress

So, I'm in my 11th week now and feeling great! I've been sooooo lucky not to have hardly any morning sickness. I've mostly been tired and I hate to say it...constipated...(more water please).

We got to hear the heartbeat last week, which was pretty amazing. It was only for a split second and I almost missed it because I was gabbing so much with the midwife, but W heard it right away and his face just lit up.

I told everyone at work last week and they are all so ecstatic. I am going to have a lot of support from my work family. It's almost like they are all getting a new grandbaby or niece or nephew for themselves.

I am having a lot of mixed feeling about baby and our future life with baby. I guess that is natural. I'll try and write about it some more this week. I'm going to try and do ICLW again. We'll see how it goes....

Here's my first belly shot at 7 weeks--pretty much no belly....just big boobs.