My sister recently commented that this blog made her sad. She got me to thinking. I guess I do tend to write on this blog when I am feeling down or frustrated or overwhelmed by all the complicated feelings I have been experiencing while W and I try to start a family. It was not my intention, however, to be a big sad-sack. So, I've devoted this entry to explore the more positive reasons for being without child.
1. No Kids: Perhaps the best (and worst) thing about not having any kids, is not having any kids. I feel this way especially when I visit with my friend Julie when both her 4-year-old and her 1-year-old are having simultaneous meltdowns. Or when I want to do something spontaneous with my mom-girlfriends and they need an hour to gather together the kids before they can get out the door.
2. My Marriage: W and I already have a fabulous marriage. And I can't imagine much that would drastically change our relationship, but I do imagine that kids would change it in smaller, day-to-day ways. Just the amount of time we spend together would obviously be effected. So, not having kids would allow us to keep growing as a couple and be selfish in the development of our marriage.
3. Eating Out, Shopping, Traveling, and Generally Spending Money on Myself: As a young couple in downtown we like to go out to eat and frequent the shops. We both admit that we spend way too much money on food and drink. Our favorite place is Davis' Restaurant and Bar, where our good friend Chris is the bartender and we know most of the regulars. We are there at least once a week, but more often, several times a week. We also like to take small trips to the mountains or coast on weekends. This is one nice thing about not having kids and many of our friends with kids envy our ability to go out when we please and have seen the latest movies in the theaters.
4. Watching Inappropriate Television: I'm an admitted TV junky. The worse it is, the more I like it. So, one nice thing about not having kids is I can watch as many episodes of Celebrity Rehab or The Girls Next Door as I want without having to censor it. Perhaps this one backfires on me a bit, because if I did have kids, I would probably benefit from not watching so much television. Could go either way.
5. Sex: This is probably the main reason my husband would vote for not having kids. It is a concern of mine too. Frequency, quality, quantity, all change after having kids. Without kids, W and I are free to get our freak on and have as much sex as we want, whenever we want.
6. Sleep: This may be in a tie with number five in W's mind. I don't need as much as he does, but I do like to get my full 6–8 hours.
7. White Furniture: Obvious.
8. Language: For those who don't know me very well, I swear like a F*%#ing sailor. It started in the fourth grade. It was my way of rebellion, as I was otherwise a total goody-two-shoes. Peppering my every-day language with the f-word would pretty much have to stop if I had kids. Not a big deal really, but a bad habit I would have to break.
9. My Career: I have to be a working mom. We are a two income household and not much is going to change that. And, I love my job very much. I would not want to give it up. If we have a kid, my work place is super supportive and will allow me to work from home and also bring a baby into the office. But, I know that if I have a kid, my career will be limited in many ways, and I would not excel in the company as quickly. Not having a kid would allow me to really develop my career to its fullest potential.
10. Pets: I have always thought that if we didn't have kids we would have more pets and do more things to help with the worlds animal population. We love animals, and without kids we would definitely be able to do more for our pets. I have always worried about how my beloved cats would react to me having to shift much of my attention away from them and on to a baby.
11. (bonus entry) My Willingness to Sacrifice Myself for Others: This is a great attribute for moms to have of course, but it often happens at the detriment of a mom's own self. I know I would give everything to my child without thinking about myself, 24/7. But, I don't want to loose myself in the process. Without kids, I can be selfish and concentrate on making me the best me there is.