W and I became home owners this weekend. We bought a two-bedroom, two-bath condo in downtown Eugene. It has an amazing view of downtown and the surrounding hill sides and mountains.
It gets an amazing amount of light. And most importantly, it is all ours. We can do whatever we want with it. We now have a space to make our nest. And a nest is exactly what I hope it will become.
Someone once told me that babies usually wait to come into a settled atmosphere. Meaning when my life was "settled" I would finally get a baby. Now, I'm sure she was trying to make me feel better about not being able to get pregnant quickly, cause I have known many people who were NOT settled and baby didn't wait for them, but there may actually be a kernel of truth to what she said. It would have been exceedingly much harder to be pregnant and/or have a little one in our noisy, dusty, cramped old apartment, and while we did live there for nearly 5 years, I never really felt like it was "ours." So, maybe owning our own place will bring about a sense of stability to our lives that wasn't there before.
More than anything, owning our own home gives me something to focus my energy on. Painting, remodeling, decorating, and other new home owner responsibilities give my brain a preoccupation that has been previously filled by trying to get pregnant. Perhaps by not focusing on the fact that we aren't getting pregnant will in fact cause us to get pregnant. For me, the things I most desire come to me when I am least expecting them. With my attention fully focused on our new home, I'm hoping that a little someone sneaks up on me.