Good Advice

I really enjoyed the Barren Advice column yesterday. I really understood where the advice seeker was coming from and the advice really hit close to home. W and I are still trying to figure out which of the three levels we belong to. Still not sure. We've given ourselves the summer to ponder and discuss some more. Then in October, when my next annual appt. is due. It will be decision time. I feel pretty good about that goal.

On the NCLM front, I officially majorly suck. I'm so far off the bandwagon that I'll never be able to catch up. I'm still exploring all the blogs on the list and I will continue to do so, but any sort of organized/orchestrated comment leaving cannot be done by this slacker blogger.

Shout Out!

I just gotta give a big shout out to all those of you for NCLM and from elsewhere that have been visiting and commenting on my blog! I love it!
And even though I'm now doing NCLM at my own pace (cause sometimes commitments are hard for me) I truly love the support and understanding everyone has brought.

Trying to get some painting done today, so no reflecting on family and kids and whatnot for now, but keep on bringin the love!

Thanks!

I'm Out

So, I didn't even make it two weeks in this crazy NaComLeaMo and I'm already behind and bowing out of the commitment. I just can't seem to leave 6 comments a day. I had a great strategy. I started at the top of the list and went methodically down 5 every day. That way I would be sure to comment on everybody's blogs and not leave anyone out. I was doing great for the first week, then I missed a day and tried to catch up and then forgot where I left off and then accidentily skipped over a couple and then and then and then....

I am really loving all the feedback and comments. I'm loving reading all these new blogs and getting to know all these new peeps, but I just can't keep up the pace with everything else I have going on in my life. I sooooo admire those doing this that can keep up with the commenting pace or even better be an Iron Commenter. I just don't have it in me.

So here is my new goal. I will leave one comment on every blog on this list. It just might take me awhile. I will try very hard to do it in a timely manner, but I can't make any promises.

Sorry, I hope I didn't disappoint too many people. Please keep commenting on my blog if you feel so inclined. I do so love connecting with you.

Why Kids?

Why do we want kids? Is it biological? Is it emotional? Is it societal?

As W and I are trying to figure out what our next steps are, I find myself asking this question a lot. Why do I want kids? I've posed this question to myself before, but I find that my answers are getting different. I'm older, I'm faced with the prospects of not being able to have them the way I thought I would, and it makes me wonder why it is I want them in the first place.

I think my main reasons are still that I do want to add to our family and I do want to contribute to the world by raising a good person to live on after I am gone, but I am no longer defining myself as much as a "mom" type. I am no longer linking it to my identity as a woman as much, and I am no longer thinking of kids as something that you are "supposed" to do in order to exist in society (ie. get married, have kids, have grandkids, etc., etc., etc.).

I guess I am learning that I am still a woman if I am not a mother and I am still a valuable member of society if I don't have kids. But, then, why do I still want one? I'm still working on the answer to that one.

Why do you want kids?

Lazy Weekend with My Little "Family"

It's going to be a LAZY weekend. The sun is still not shinning much here in the Northwest, so outdoor activities are not really much of an inviting option. So, our little "family" (me, W, and our two furry babies) are snuggling up on the couch and watching Battle Star Galactica on DVD. All in all, not a bad way to spend the weekend. Maybe the sun will come out tomorrow...

Who is part of your "family?"

Brain Block

I've had brain block on this blog for awhile. I've come to a place in this journey where I'm sort of just treading water until we figure out what we are going to do next, or, rather, what we are ready to do next. I've worked through a lot of my initial feelings about this struggle (through a lot of therapy) and have moved on to a more heady/less emotional place (although my emotions do get the better of me sometimes). We are also very busy in life and work these days, which has preoccupied my brain and daily activities.

So, I find I don't have quite as much to write about here as I did a year ago. This blog was supposed to be about our journey to create our modern family. I think I am going to have to expand that idea in order to fill the pages here week after week. Or, maybe this is a sign that it is time for W and I to really sit down, and DECIDE what our next steps should be. Where is this journey going? What should we do next? Maybe there is more to write about than I realize...

Is Blogging a Woman's Sport?

I love blogging. It's basically like keeping a diary that other people can read. I always kept a diary when I was younger. I like to write and writing in a diary always felt cathartic and theraputic. Looking back on my diaries from high school and college, I often feel foolish about what I thought was important at those young ages, but they were important to me at the time. I find the same sort of cathartic therapy nature in blogging. But blogging has a crazy public aspect to it where you can get feedback from people who can relate to what you are going through or who appreciate what you are doing with your life.

I have two blogs. This one is for my writing about how W and I are struggling to start our family. My other one is really more of a day-to-day blog about our lives and also about crafting. I may start one that is purely about crafting so each blog has a definite theme and outlet for the different aspects of my life, but I need to decide if I have enough time to keep up with that much blogging.

So, far I have only met women through blogging. Makes sense really given that my two blogs are about makin babies and makin crafts. I have one guy friend who bloggs about his life, but other than him I don't really find many men in the blog-o-sphere, then again, I don't think I've known many guys who keep diaries either.

So, that leads me to the question, like diary writing, is blogging a woman's sport? Is there something inherent in being female that causes us to want to share our intimate lives with perfect strangers? It could be an interesting gender study.